Damaged Andy - Artist
One day, Damaged Andy was born. He knew some people and whatnot, so he decided to do a bunch of stuff with various objects that made them say, "Hey, that guy is extremely subpar at doing ordinary things." Because D.A. (Damaged Andy) was so concerned with what other people thought about D.A. (Damaged Andy), and the various things he did with stuff, this made D.A. (Damaged Andy) very upset. He decided he would prove his critics wrong by affirming his convictions and saying "I'll show them!", aloud, beneath a hazy moon, during the autumn equinox, right after he'd finished harvesting the field of alfalfa sprouts he meant to reap back in May, but he totally took way to many mushrooms and spent the summer convinced he was a glass of orange juice, and that he consisted of all the vitamines, minerals, and nutrients from the earth. Crazy Right? Where was I? Oh yeah. Then he started rapping and when his set was over, he exited to the left of the stage and he swore he'd heard someone say: "Yo, Son, that shit was swag, right?" (Like swagger), but what they really said was "Schwagg" (Like inadequate marijuana of the lowest quality. You know, that still gets you high and stuff, but the high kind of sucks). So anyways, he heard that and he was happy. And that's how babies are made. The end!
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